Jem and Will are two main characters from The Infernal Devices trilogy by Cassandra Clare, the prequel series to the Mortal Instruments.
There’s not a lot of friendships like the one that Jem and Will have. I have never read anything like it. They share a particular bond called parabatai, a sacred partnership between two Shadowhunters who fight side by side, bound by an oath and runes that ensure they are connected, no matter where they are. The oath bonds them together through life and death.
Jem and Will’s friendship is undoubtedly the best in the entire trilogy: it’s so iconic, and Jem’s death at the end of Clockwork Princess left us all in tears, even though we knew it was coming. (I cried again during Will’s tribute to him).
For those of you who haven’t read The Infernal Devices yet, read it now.
I don’t even know how to put their friendship into words. All I can say is that Clare executes Jem’s death so beautifully, and the scenes between Will and Jem throughout the trilogy were heartwarming. They would sacrifice their lives for each other, and they’ve demonstrated this so many times.
For example, in Clockwork Princess, Jem tosses his yin fen into a fire. Yin fen is a drug that Jem took that extended his life, as he lived with an illness. Without a second thought, Will put his hands into the fire and managed to get some of it out. His hands were left scorched just so that Jem could live a little bit longer.
I’ve nearly finished the Clockwork Princess, and I really wanted to write about Jem and Will’s friendship. Hope you enjoy this one. xx
SPOILER ALERT!
Background
Here’s a little bit of context:
Jem grew up in Shanghai, China. When he was a child, he became very ill. A Silent Brother gave him yin fen, a drug to save his life. While it worked, it made Jem overdependent on the drug and over time slowly poisoned him.
When Tessa arrives at the Institute, Jem is already near the end of his time. Tessa and Will fall in love with each other, but Will pushes her away because he believed that a curse was placed on him that anyone he loved would die. We later find out that this curse never existed.
In the meantime, while Will distanced herself from Tessa, she and Jem fell in love with each other and got engaged. Will believed that he had lost Tessa, as he confessed his love for her and she gently turned him down, explaining that she was already engaged. However, Tessa still loved him — she loved both of them.
Will didn’t tell Jem the truth, that he loved Tessa, knowing that if Jem found out, he would cancel the wedding — Will could never live with himself if he caused unhappiness to Jem and Tessa. However, Jem finds out the truth during his last conversation with Will on his deathbed.
Jem’s Death
During a battle between the Shadowhunters (and Tessa) and the automatons, Jem is weakened and severely injured. At this point in the story, his yin fen is close to running out, he has been weak for a long time and everyone at the Institute knows that Jem’s time is coming to an end.
Throughout the trilogy, Will confides in Magnus about his curse and they develop a meaningful relationship. After the battle, Will sits by Jem’s side as he nears his final hours, and calls Magnus. While Jem is unconscious, Magnus asks Will if he has told Jem that he loves Tessa. Jem wakes up unexpectedly and hears this. He asks if Tessa loves him too, and Will says no, unaware that she actually does, making the moment even more heartbreaking.
During their last conversation, Jem finds out that Tessa has been taken by the automatons to Mortmain.
Jem: Magnus said you were in love with Tessa. Is it true?
Will: Yes. Yes, it’s true.
Jem: Does she love you?
Will: No. I told you I loved her, and she never wavered from you. It is you she loves.
[…]
Jem: I am so sorry, Will. So very, very sorry. I wish that I had known—Will: What could you have done?
Jem: I could have called off the engagement—
Will: And broken both of your hearts? How would that have benefited me? You are as dear to me as another half of my soul, Jem. I could not be happy while you were unhappy. […]
Jem: But you are my parabatai. If you are in pain, I wish to lessen it—
Will: This is the one thing you cannot give me comfort for.
Jem: […] If I had ever known [your pain] was because of Tessa, you know, Will, I never would have made my feelings known to her.
Will: How could you have guessed? I did all I could do to hide and deny it. You—you never hid your feelings. Looking back, it was all clear and plain, and yet I never saw it. I was astonished when Tessa told me that you were engaged. You’ve always been the source in my life of such good things, James. I never thought you would be the source of pain, and so, wrongly, I never thought of your feelings at all. And that is why I was so blind.
Jem: I am grieved for your pain. But I am glad that you love her. […] It makes it easier to ask you to do what I wish you to do: leave me, and go after Tessa.
Will: […] I cannot leave you like this, not to face alone whatever you must face—
Jem: You are my parabatai. You said I could ask anything of you.
Will: But I swore to stay with you. ‘If aught but death part thee and me—’
Jem: Death will part us.
Will: You know the words of the oath come from a longer passage. ‘Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go.’
Jem: You cannot go where I am going! Nor would I want that for you!
Will: Neither can I walk away and leave you to die!
There. Will had said it, said the word, admitted the possibility. Die.
Jem: No one else can be trusted with this. Don’t you think I don’t know that if you do not go after her, no one will? Don’t you think it doesn’t kill me that I cannot go, or at least go with you? […] Take my hands, Will.
Numbly Will closed his hands around Jem’s. […] He had thought losing Tessa was his penance; he had not thought of how it would be when he had lost both of them.
Jem: Will, for all these years I have tried to give you what you could not give yourself. Faith. That you were better than you thought you were. Forgiveness, that you need not always punish yourself. I always loved you, Will, whatever you did. And now I need you to do for me what I cannot do for myself. For you to be my eyes when I do not have them. For you to be my hands when I cannot use my own. For you to be my heart when mine is done with the beating.
[…]
Will: I cannot leave you to face death alone.
Jem: I am not alone. Wherever we are, we are as one.
Will rose slowly to his feet. […]
Will: If there is a life after this one, let me meet you in it, James Carstairs.
[…]
Their eyes met and held. Will could not bring himself to say good-bye, or say anything at all. He only gripped Jem’s hand one last time and released it, and then turned and walked out the door.
This moment was so beautiful. It broke our hearts and mended them back together again.
I don’t want to say a lot about Jem and Will’s last moment together, because I think it is most beautiful left as it is, without analysis or studying. Initially, I was going to briefly sum up this scene using reported speech, but then I realised that you can only realise the beauty of it if you read it yourself. ♡
I think Clare executed this beautifully, and although this was their last moment together, she reminded us that they will always be connected.
Aaah this song is made for them ♡♡♡